I was Blind, Yet I Prayed for the Man Who Could See

My brother asked me about my salvation. He asked if I knew what I had to do to in order to ensure that after my death I would find myself in heaven. I told him I was doing what my church had told me to do: I believed in God, I believed in Jesus Christ, I went to mass, I tried to live a good life, I did my best to observe His commandments, and I confessed my sins in confession and received communion. Outside of church, I tried to do good deeds. I tried to act “right” and avoid sin. I tried to help others and behave in a “Christian” way so that my sins could be offset by good works.

In short, I was trying to earn my salvation, just as my church had told me I was supposed to. I was trying to participate in my own salvation. But the Holy Scripture told me that it isn’t my works that provide me with eternal salvation, it is by God’s grace alone that I am saved. Salvation is a free gift that was paid for in full by Jesus Christ’s death on the cross.

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

- Ephesians 2:8-9

The Holy Scripture was completely and abundantly clear, as stated unequivocally in Ephesians: my Salvation comes from God’s grace through my faith, Salvation is a gift — we can never, ever “earn” a gift, it is something that is given and received without regard to our own behavior. If we tried to “earn” a gift, then it would no longer be a gift, but rather a wage that was paid to those who “deserved” it through their actions, through their works.

And if we need even further clarification of this point, we can turn back to Holy Scriptures where the difference between Salvation through Faith and payment deserved due to actions is made crystal clear…

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

- Romans 6:23

I slowly began to recognize exactly what the Holy Scripture was telling me there, so eloquently and so succinctly. We all know that wages are payment for work, and a gift is freely given regardless of what we do. So in order to fully appreciate the incredible significance of this one small bit of Scripture we must pay strict attention to how the supreme authority, the Word of God, tells us that these two ends — life and death — are achieved. Death (spending eternity apart from God) is a wage (payment) for something that we have earned (achieved through works) while life (eternal salvation with God) is a gift (freely given, regardless of our actions) that we receive through Jesus Christ.

Works don’t enter the picture when it comes to the gift of Eternal Life:

But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

- Romans 4:5

In plain language, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. Works don’t enter the picture when it comes to the gift of Eternal Life.

Wow.

Death is something we can work for, while life is something we can only receive as a gift through faith.

Only then did I truly begin to understand the plan that God had for my Salvation, and though I was beginning to see it, even then I still did not fully appreciate the simplicity of His amazing plan. One thing I did know once I began to truly understand the Holy Scripture, is that my actions could not save me. They never, ever could, despite what I may have been taught.

Of course others tried to convince me, like the catholic church did, that works are necessary for Salvation. In fact, they often quoted James, who wrote: “Faith without works is dead”. The only problem is that most people who quote James in this context are missing the point entirely: James never said that faith without works ceases to exist, he’s simply saying that unless someone with faith shows their faith through their actions, their faith will not inspire others to the faith. It’s like the idea of hiding your light under a basket, the light itself doesn’t go out — it still burns brightly — but no one outside of the basket can see it.

You can learn more about the true meaning of what James meant by reading “Faith Without Works is Dead”.

I talked to other teachers in the RCIA program and I began to express my questions about what we were taught and what we were teaching. I was concerned about apparent differences between the Holy Scripture and the teachings, the traditions, and most importantly the visible actions of the catholic church. I sought guidance from the other educators and our program leader. I told them about my brother’s efforts to get me to look closer at the Holy Scripture and to compare it carefully with the teachings of the catholic church.

At first, they shook their heads in disbelief. Then they expressed pity for him because he had “fallen away from the church”. Next, they tried to comfort me and tell me that he was actually misguided and that my brother was just “being misled”. They assured me that he had simply fallen in with the “wrong sort of people” who really couldn’t possibly understand scripture. After all, they said, the catholic church reserved the sole authority to interpret God’s Word. They reminded me that I was taught that I had to place my trust in the catholic church. We all prayed together that my brother would have his eyes “re-opened” and he would come back to catholic life.

There I was, still at that time just about as blind as anyone on this earth to God’s true plan for our Salvation, and I was praying for my brother’s return to the very organized religion that had so far, unknown to me, kept me from receiving the true Gift.

For the first time in my life, I began to doubt that I was Saved.

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